Sunday, January 3, 2016

You Can Get Your Heart Broken, or Maybe Bent a Bit

I have posted about my girlfriends many times.  I think I'm a friendly, generous person most of the time.  I try to be a loyal friend, and I value those friends who return the sentiment.  My true friends are my treasures.  YOU know who you are...
Which is why the thing as it transpired hurt.

A while back a former coworker and I discovered mutual interests.  She was a tentative sewist and wanted help.  She asked for help and I said sure.  Why not?  Shared interests create bonds and it seemed natural.

She made jewelry too.  She wanted to sell her handiwork and was not having much luck doing it on consignment.  I was doing craft fairs with my doll clothes.  We decided that we'd go into a couple of craft fairs because we could split the cost and share a booth.

She saw that I was selling things and she was not.  She abandoned her beads and took up doll clothes, except that she wasn't experienced with the actual sewing of the actual doll clothes.  She asked me to help her.  Of course my 'no' is broken...  I helped.  She learned, I was pleased!

We came up with a plan to split the work, and coordinate our items to better market them together. 

She said you make this, I'll make that. I made my 'this', she made 'thises' too.  She didn't stick to the plan.  <sigh>  OK, let's revise the plan - we need to have things that go together.  How can I sell 'thises' without 'thats'?

She said no, no, I get it, I'll stick to the plan.  But she made a whole lot of things we never planned and didn't do the stuff we did.  She barreled ahead and the plan was left in the rear view mirror.

She got pretty aggressive pushing her own stuff and sort of half way discouraging customers from looking at mine.  When I called her on it, she actually suggested that we could go into separate craft fairs.  AND she'd take the one I had originally done so well at.  Then she realized what she'd said and apologized. 

I felt a bit betrayed.  I understand competition, but we were supposed to be partners.  I didn't like how it made me feel, thinking that she was plotting on how to beat me at every turn.  I tried to be big about it.  Mostly I grumbled to my hubby... who was SO sympathetic.  Not!

We did one last craft fair together because we committed to it.  Then I started looking for other avenues to sell my stuff.  She did one of those free list sites.  I went the doll store route.

In the fall I heard from someone that she was continuing the craft fairs alone.   Evidently not selling up to expectations either.

I am not sorry I shared my knowledge because one of my joys is helping people learn to love sewing.  But it doesn't alter the facts and it still hurts a little.  Will I stop helping people? No.  But will I throw myself all in again?  Maybe not so much.

After the doll store fiasco I considered going back to that first craft fair, because there was still time.  But I found out she'd doing that fair, with DOLL CLOTHES.

I saw her recently.  She asked about my sewing and she said "Too bad about the store. I think I'm going to sell out all my doll clothes and go back to what I was originally doing."

Huh. Oh, and you're welcome.


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